


Earth 2:21

by maiarbat, PolarizedCopy



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: AU, Angst, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Promise he gets better, Self-Harm, Tommy's an ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiarbat/pseuds/maiarbat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolarizedCopy/pseuds/PolarizedCopy
Summary: Something is brewing in New York City and Thomas Shepherd finds himself Smack in the center of it all.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 13





	1. The Clone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat/gifts).



> This fic was started by me and someone who no longer speaks to me. This has been gifted to them, though I don't know their tag. Maiarbat has helped me so much in convincing myself to bring this story back to life. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The taxi sped through the city streets, as I longed to do on foot. Instead, I had a caseworker breathing down my neck, constantly threatening to send me back to 'Juvie'. There was no way that place was a legit detention center. So in order to avoid going back to literal torture, I played the good boy and didn't jump out of the moving car like last week when Marie tried to get me into a foster home. There was one last home willing to take in a known thief, demolitionist, and runaway. A Jewish family with three sons of their own to put up with. Whatever possessed them to take me in was a mystery. Luckily for them, I wasn't planning on staying.

"Thomas, are you even listening to me?" My head falls back onto the leather seat, my hand on my chest where my cross used to be. "Not really. I find most of what you say repetitive and unhelpful." She sighs and slumps in her seat, one hand rubbing her forehead. "I was saying that if this doesn't work I can't prevent it any further. You-" 

" '-will be going back to Juvie. Is that what you want? To be locked back up blah blah blah.' That sounds close to what you were going to say?" Her eyes close and she composes herself for a moment. "Thomas I'm just looking out for you. I don't want you to go back any more than you want to go. I understand that particular center was..."

"Inhumane?"

"Difficult, for you." She sits up straight as we pull into what I assume was the foster family's home. A two-story suburban townhouse painted a painfully dull beige stood in front of us. The door opened to reveal a woman and her husband, both with deep brunette hair. Marie had told me their surname at one point. Kazinski? Kaplow? Whatever. The taxi unlocks and I hopped out as quickly as I could, swinging my raggedy backpack onto my shoulder. I pat my jeans for my phone and wallet before closing the taxi door behind me and surveying the area. In either direction were several identical townhouses in varying shades of beige, pale ass blue, and sickly green. The row of houses on the other side of the street was more of the same.  
Marie came up behind me and set her hand on my shoulder. I flinch but I'd long since given up on getting her to stop doing that. She practically pushed me towards the couple at the door. "Mr. and Mrs. Kaplan! What a pleasure to meet you." She shook their hands. 

"You must be Marie, Thomas' Caseworker." Mrs. Kaplan grinned. Her husband eyed me closely, as though expecting me to bolt already. Smart guy. We shook hands silently. Mrs. Kaplan turned her attention to me. "Thomas- oh..." She hesitated for a solid minute, staring at me like I was a ghost. “Can I help you?” I asked accusingly. She shook her thoughts away and continued. "or do you prefer Tommy?" I was taken aback by the question. I was rarely asked that. I usually had to demand to be called Tommy, and often I was ignored. "Er, yeah, actually. I do prefer Tommy." Her smile brightened back up. "Then, Tommy, Welcome home." She pulled me into a hug before I could refuse, leaving me with my arms awkwardly at my side. "Do we have any more paperwork to fill out?" Mr. Kaplan asked. Marie shook her head and assured them everything was in order. 

She pulled me aside. "Thomas... If you run away it won't be me chasing you down this time. It'll be the police, and you'll be right back where you started. Please, PLEASE try to make this work." I didn't meet her eyes. I gave her a hard time but she was often the only one who treated me like a person, not a convict. "Yeah, I get it." She tried to smile but it was broken. "I know you do. Take care of yourself." She hesitated before climbing back into the taxi and driving away. I was fairly certain that would be the last I'd see of her. 

I stepped back towards the Kaplans. "Come in dear." Mrs. Kaplan opened the door and led me in, her husband following us, blocking my only way out. We entered with the kitchen and dining area in front of us and the living room to the right. The twins I heard about sat playing Need For Speed on an old GameCube. I Smirked at the familiar game. On the couch was their other son, my age, laying down and on his phone. "Your foster brother is here boys." Mrs. Kaplan said, her hand on my shoulder. I pulled away sharply, and she folded her hands in front of her instead. The twins jump to their feet, abandoning their game to run over to me. They couldn't have been older than ten. Their brother just waves without looking up from his phone. The twins crowded me and started spit-balling questions at a million miles a second. It was near impossible to tell who asked what.

"What's your name? Why is your hair white? How old are you? Did your parents die? Where's your stuff? Why do you look like Billy? Have you been to prison? What's your favorite color?" 

Their mother pulled them away from me. "Ben, Simeon, give the poor boy space. Nobody can even understand what you’re saying. I'm sorry about them Tom-"

"I got this." I crouched in front of them. "My name's Tommy. My hair's white ‘cause the color melted away. I’m 15. One of them died, yes. My stuff's right here." I place my bag in front of them. "I've been to Juvie, which is like Prison but for kids, and my favorite color is the same blue as my hoodie." I pulled at the old cloth. "Now who's Billy?"

The other son shifted to a sitting position. "I am. Did they say you look like-" He turned to face me and we both freeze, locked in eye contact. The complete stranger was identical to me. Save for the color of our hair and eyes there wasn't a single crease we didn't share.

"What the fuck...." We said in unison. We both stood and approached one another in disbelief. I had to resist the urge to reach out and ensure he was real. We both turned to his parents, our eyes demanding an explanation.

His mom raised her hands in surrender. "Don't look at me boys, I'm as lost as you. But Doppelgangers aren't unheard of." She lowered her hands and smiled warmly. "I'm sure it's just a sign of how well he'll fit in." I can't help but laugh. "Hate to disappoint lady but I doubt that." Her smile faded into a concerned stare. "Why's that?" I shift uncomfortably. "I find most people aren't fond of my presence." I shrug. "It's whatever though." She sighed lightly but didn't press further. "Well come on, let me show you around." I leave the clone behind and follow Mrs. Kaplan around the house. 

To the left of the front door was the master bedroom and downstairs bathroom. The backyard was accessible through a large glass sliding door in the dining room. To the right of it was stairs into a basement. Closer to the living room were the stairs to the second floor. "At the end of the hall is the bathroom. The first door on the right is the twin's, the one just beyond that is Billy's, and across from that-" She led me over and opened the door to a small room with a slanted ceiling. There was an old desk with a mirror in the corner of the room, a bed underneath a window in the center of the room, and a closet to the right. The pale paint was peeling, and a clock was failing at hiding a hole in the wall. I walked in and even the windowsill was shabby, bits of metal poking out as it cracked in places. "it's a bit run down, but we can fix it up." Mrs. Kaplan assured me.

"It looks like it's been abandoned..." Just like me. I smiled lightly. "Don't worry about it. It's perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revelation 2:21  
> I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality.


	2. Couldn't Sleep

A blurred sea of teenagers I didn't recognize pushed past me in a hallway I also didn't recognize. My feet were glued in place, and I felt as though I was suffocating. Their voices seemed to grow louder, though it was pointless trying to decipher any meaning within the sound. Emerging from the crowd was a boy that felt twice my size. He loomed over me, and raised his fist, knocking me to the ground in one quick hit. He reached down to lift me by the shirt but misses as I start falling endlessly.  
I wake up and instantly bolt upright, eyes locked forward on my own in the mirror on the back of the door. Waking up from a nightmare was not uncommon for me this year. What was uncommon was the details of the dream. It wasn't familiar at all. It was as though someone else's nightmare had taken the place of mine. Which was totally crazy of course. I study the mirror and realize a disturbing discrepancy. The hair in my reflection was the wrong color. That's when I noticed the bedroom door was wide open, and I was staring at Billy, who seemed to have also just woken from a particularly haunting dream. He seemed to be having the same realization, as we both cautiously left our beds and approached the hallway.

I leaned against my door frame, arms and legs crossed. He rested just a hand on his, expression pointed and accusatory. "You uh, get those dreams too then?" I ask slowly. He shifted uncomfortably, moving his hand to his side. "Yeah but, it wasn't...."  
"Your normal nightmare? Yeah, mine either..." We both eye each other as if one of us was responsible for our bizarre situation. Billy slunk back into his room and emerged with a jean jacket. "Wanna go out back? I could use some fresh air." He was already walking downstairs before I got a moment to answer. With his back turned I speed to the desk to grab my hoodie, and have caught back up to him in less than 3 seconds. He looked back at me as though he felt the breeze as I ran. 

He led us to a swing set near the back of the yard, under a large plum tree. We each took a seat and I reached in my pocket for my cheap lighter and pack of smokes. I opened the pack and smiled at the little faces I had scribbled on the filters. I grabbed a worried-looking one and placed it between my lips before asking "You mind?" I'm already lighting the cigarette. He shook his head but grimaced. "So uh... What did you dream about?" He asks. I shake my head. "Nope. You asked the invasive question so you get to share first." He sighed but didn't disagree. "Alright well.." He looked up at the full moon. "At first I was looking at the moon, then bars seemed to block my view. The world around me warped into this... maze and I started running through it and I couldn't stop. Everything was blurred, and no matter how much I ran I couldn't find a way out. The lights in the maze were near blinding and I'm fairly certain I was being watched.." 

My heartfelt like it may stop. The clone had just described the nightmare I'd been having for nearly a year. He left a few details out and I was grateful. "That's not possible..." I murmur. He looked at me and insisted I share mine. I stare at him in disbelief as I describe the sea of faces and the punk that beat me down. "Sound familiar?" I ask, watching his face go as white as my hair. "Yeah, yours too." We sit in silence for a bit while I finish my smoke. "What are you?" Billy asks out of the blue.  
"Rude question.” I reached up to hold my cross just to be reminded it wasn't there. Billy's expression was filled with fear. I hoped that I didn't look as scared as him, though I felt it. "How do people just switch dreams like that? It's messed up..." he murmured. I dropped the butt in the grass and stamped it out with my heel. 

"You are literally barefoot Tommy." I shrugged. "And now the fire’s out. Your point?" He shook his head in disbelief. "You are an enigma."

"Awe thanks." I smirked. We sat in silence for several minutes before Billy spoke up again. "You think one of us is adopted?" He asked. I shook my head. "Nah, my parents weren't the type to have taken in a kid like me. They never did like me, why would they choose me? And Your parents seem the type to have told you something like that, especially after seeing me show up. I think it, like most things, is just a coincidence." 

"A coincidence huh? Kinda' like how we literally just swapped dreams after knowing each other for less than 24 hours?" He asked, clearly skeptical. I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yup. Exactly." Just as I started to swing a little, the back door slid open and Mrs. Kaplan stepped out in a red robe. "What are you boys doing up so late?" She asked, walking across the yard to us. 

"Couldn't sleep." We say in unison. We gave each other a disturbed look and made a silent agreement to avoid doing that ever again. She eyed us carefully but nodded. "Well come on, you wouldn't want to catch a cold." She put an arm around her son and led us both back inside. 

We both took our coats off, and when I reached to hang mine up, my smokes fell from the pocket. I rushed to pick it up, but since I couldn’t use my power in front of them they saw the pack in my hands. “Thomas what is-” Mr. Kaplan reached for me and I panicked, dropping the pack and backing away about three feet in an instant. They didn’t question the speed. Mr.Kaplan reached down and picked the pack up. “Tommy, you’re only 15, you shouldn’t be smoking. I have to take them away.”  
“You don’t though, do you?” I snapped at him. “You could just give them back.” He shook his head. “Sweetie,” Mrs.Kaplan intervened. “You’re our responsibility now Tommy. That means keeping illegal vices from you.” I nodded. “Right, like you actually care.” I squeeze between Billy and his mom, closing the door tight behind me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “What do you mean you LOST the speedster?!” Amora demanded. The scientist coughed. “It’s just a hiccup. We are already searching all of New Jersey for the boy.”  
> “Clearly that isn’t enough. Expand your search and bring him to me, unless you want to be replaced?”


	3. Her Boys

I hadn't slept any more that night. I usually didn't after waking from a nightmare. Instead, I sat on the windowsill, playing with the strings on my hoodie while I watched the sunrise. I had every opportunity to bolt from this place but with the doppelganger and last night, I felt compelled to stay put. At least until I had some answers. The twins seemed to wake with the sun, screaming and playing in their room. Around 7 am Billy started to shout at them to quiet down. The Kaplan parents had started making breakfast around then too, the smell of pancakes and eggs wafting through the house. My stomach growled. I had gone to bed before they made dinner last night, and was starting to regret the choice. 

A knock startled me from my morning trance. The door slid open slowly. "Morning Tommy." Mrs. Kaplan greeted me. "We're getting you registered at Billy's school today. Are you excited?" She stepped in when she saw I was awake. I leaned my head on the window, dropping the drawstrings. "Yeah what could be better than being locked up with a bunch of teenagers..." I mutter. I hadn't been to school since 8th grade. 'Juvie' had stolen my first year of high school. So I was likely going to be way behind. I couldn't wait. 

"You won't be locked up Tommy." She chuckled and sat on the side of my bed, looking up at me. "If I have anything to say about it, you won't be locked up ever again, especially in that place." She looked down at her feet and continued cautiously. “Tommy, Marie told us that you had quite the experience there,” She started, twisting her feet. “But she insisted it wasn't her place to tell us. I agree with her. When you feel ready, I'll be here to listen." Mrs. Kaplan looked into my eyes the way I assumed any decent mother would look at her child. This somehow enraged me. She stood and set a hand on the windowsill next to me. I wondered if she actually got the whole 'don't touch me' thing everyone else ignored. "Now come on. Breakfast should be finished." 

I hopped off the windowsill, careful not to tear my pants or hoodie on the sharp edges. "Guess I could eat." I stretched and followed her downstairs. Ben and Simeon were halfway done eating, and Billy had barely touched his food. Mr. Kaplan was still cooking. Until foster care, anyone but the lady of the house cooking was a totally foreign concept. My mom always did the cooking, though now I wish she had just let dad do it. Not like he would have. 

There were six places set. The spots the Kaplan kids were in, two spots on either end of the table, likely for the adults, and a spot next to Billy. I slid the chair out and flopped down. I mutter a quick prayer before digging in. Honestly, Mr. Kaplan's cooking was some of the best I'd ever had, and I found myself eating like I'd never even encountered food. Mrs. Kaplan laughed. "Tommy, the plate's not going anywhere. Don't make yourself sick." I smirked and swallowed. "Well someone's gotta' eat it since Jolly Rancher over here has his nose stuck in a comic." Billy looks up from his nerd book and gives me a look. "Jolly rancher?" I shrugged and bit into a pancake. "Give me a break it's early." He went back to his comic and still doesn't touch his food. "You sick or somethin'?" I ask. He stiffens. "No." He says sharply. I raise an eyebrow but decide not to press further. 

I finished up my food at the same time as the twins. Mrs. Kaplan sent her kids to grab their school bags. "Tommy, we're registering you today but you won't be testing until tomorrow. You and I are going shopping." I took the empty plates to the sink out of habit. "Shopping? I don't have any-" She stopped me. "No, Tommy I'll be paying. I'm your guardian now and you are in desperate need of clothes and school supplies. It'll be just the two of us. Promise you'll have fun." I took a deep breath but there was no sense in arguing. I was outgrowing most of my clothes, and my backpack had like seven holes in it. "Yeah alright. Guess it can't be that bad."

The Kaplan kids came rushing downstairs. Billy had replaced his comic book with his phone, and the twins were holding what looked like school projects. Those two rush out to the van while Billy hazily follows, furiously texting what was likely some girl, given the dorky grin. He nearly ran into the wall and like a flash, I'm next to him nudging him out of the way. He barely noticed. I looked around and it seemed nobody else noticed me go from the kitchen to the front door in like a second. I smirked and followed Billy out the door. We all piled into the van, Billy in the front seat, the twins in the middle, and me in the far back. 

Mrs. Kaplan hopped in the driver's seat and we sped off to the school. I mean, really sped. Mrs. Kaplan was a maniac driver and I absolutely adored it. The Painted Hills Academy was a k-12 school and a large one at that. We dropped off the Kaplan kids, and Billy walked with the twins to their class.

I sluggishly left the car and follow Mrs. Kaplan to the principal's office. “Mr. Carlile, It’s a pleasure to see you again. You remember me talking about our Foster, Tommy?” They shook hands and we took seats across from the plump old man. He smiled and nodded. “Of course. Were you wanting to do his placement test today?” He asked. She shook her head. “No, we were hoping for tomorrow. He needs a few supplies still.” He scribbles something down and asks for some paperwork. He looked over it all. “Alright well, come in tomorrow when classes start and we’ll test you in.”

I rushed into the backseat eager to drive away. "Come upfront. I'm not a taxi after all." I climbed over the seats to the front and leaned the seat back. "Alright where to?" She smiled and started up the car. “Rockefeller Center.” We went clothes shopping first and got my school uniform, as well as an entirely new wardrobe. My favorite piece was a Deadpool tank top. It was an actual photo of him mid-fight. I couldn't believe he let someone print it on a shirt! Actually, I kind of could. The next stop was school supplies. She got me a new bag, deep green with a billion pockets. Several notebooks, pens, and a few varied office supplies. She even got me markers.

She took me to sushi for lunch. We sat up by the counter and ordered two rolls of stuff I couldn’t pronounce if I tried. Next to us a guy only a few years older than me sat scribbling on a map of the whole center. He tapped his foot endlessly like I often did when I was nervous. He wasn’t ordering and the staff were starting to ask him to leave. “I’ll order him something.” Mrs.Kaplan insisted. I raised an eyebrow. “You don’t even know this guy?” I muttered at her. She shushed me and asked him what he wanted. He looked over to her and smiled through a groggy expression. He thanked her and ordered something called Unagi. Said it was eel.

Finally, the fun shopping began. I got new sneakers, a fidget spinner, a sketchbook, some music posters. She offered to replace my phone but I refused. It's not like I used the thing. It only had 3 contacts in it, all disconnected. By the end, I almost felt bad about how much she had spent on me. But when I voiced my concerns all she said was "There is nothing to feel guilty about Tommy. You're one of my boys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contacts: Mom, Jezebel, Candi


	4. Painted Hills

The next morning felt like Deja Vu. I woke from a nightmare, (this one my own) and elected to stay up, sitting on the windowsill to watch the sunrise. The main difference this morning was that my sketchbook now accompanied me. Still empty, but it was nice to hold. Ben and Simeon woke first, waking Billy as the adults started dinner. Mrs. Kaplan came upstairs to greet me, and led me downstairs. Again, Billy's food wasn't touched, and the twins were nearly done.

We piled into the van and the dread set in. I was never exactly an A student. I was a little high-strung for that. Not to mention that nearly a year and a half had passed since I had any schooling. Anxiety bubbled up as I imagined flunking the test and being thrown into remedial classes. Before long we were pulling up to the school. Ben practically dragged me out of the van, insisting on holding my hand. "Don't worry." He said. "I got scared on my first day of school too." I started to correct him but it was too precious to crush. "Thanks' little man." I took my hand from him but offered him a high-five that he accepted with glee.

Billy led me into a courtyard where dozens of kids were hanging out in several small groups. I look across the yard and stumble to a stop. A stunning girl was standing by a tree, laughing at something her friend said to her. She had long black hair and the world's brightest smile. My heartfelt like it was gonna jump out of my chest and chase her down. She looked up and her eyes glittered in the light, even from this far away. My moment was crushed when a burly blonde boy with a million earrings went up to her and kissed her cheek.

“Yeah, she's taken...” Billy was looking where I was. 

“What's her name?” I asked.

“Kate Bishop. Her boyfriend is Teddy Altman. They're my best friends.” They saw us and waved, then looked really confused.

“Who's the clone?” Kate asked as she and Teddy approached us.

“The 'clone' Has a name. I'm Tommy. Billy's foster brother.”

She looks us over. “And the long lost twin by the looks of it.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I know. We look alike. Been over that part thanks.”

She gives me a look. “Well someone's a little moody..”

'Wonderful first impression Tommy. Real smooth.'

Teddy reached out his hand. “I'm Teddy.”

I didn't accept the handshake. “Yeah. The other clone told me. Look, I gotta go take some dumb test. Catch you guys later.” I push past Teddy and head inside. I can hear Kate asking Billy if I was alright. He said he didn’t know. To be honest neither did I.

"Remedial math? Man, that sucks..." Billy tried to be sympathetic while all I wanted was to just disappear like... I managed a nod. "Yeah and everything else is freshman level. I'm a year behind thanks to that place." I laid my head on the cafeteria table. Teddy rested a hand on my shoulder. "Hey man, we'll help you catch up. By next year you could easily be in our classes if we convince them to let you retake the placement test." I slowly sit up and brush his hand off of me. "That's brilliant and I'm in, but like, don't touch me."

"So doppelganger?" Kate chimed in. "Are you gonna join any teams or clubs?"

I shook my head. "I'm not likely to be here long enough to bother." I picked at my food but my new schedule destroyed my appetite. "You guys in any clubs?" I ask. Billy was apparently in a comic club, Teddy on student council, and Kate was on the boxing team. "What kind of high school had a boxing team?"

Teddy grinned. "Good 'ol painted Hills Academy."  
A group of large, dumb-looking jocks made their way past our table. The head of the group I actually recognized, from Billy's dream. "Oh look, the fag got himself a twin!" The guy chimed. I was fairly certain he didn't know how twins worked. Billy seemed to wince as the guy spoke and every defensive instinct I had kicked in. "Who you calling fag, you overstuffed squab?" I stood up. Kate hissed at me to leave it alone and Teddy pulled me back to my seat. So I scooted away and stood again. "What the FUCK is a squab?" He asked, face turning red, fists balled at his side.

I smirked and crossed my arms, relaxing my stance. Kate chimed in. "Pretty sure it's Swedish for 'fat woman'." He sprints to deck her but I sidestep and catch his fist. "It's impolite to hit a lady." He goes for a left hook and I drop to my knees to duck. "Whatever losers." He gave up and led his cronies away, ignoring their attempts to comfort him.

"Alright speedy how the hell did you manage that?" Teddy asked. I shrug. "Manage what? He's just slow." Kate raises an eyebrow in my direction, clearly not buying it. I tense a little but don't acknowledge her accusing stare. "Billy, you alright? Who is that guy?"

"Marcus Duur..." He mumbled, head in his arms. "The guy's had it out for me since like 1st grade."

"Why? Does he just not like our face?" Billy raised his head. "No, he just doesn't like me." He looked at me. "Thanks for standing up for me though." He managed a weak smile.

My next three classes seemed to go by in a hazy blur. My thoughts sped from one topic to another, never quite landing on the schoolwork. My last class was a P.E. class. And today we were running a mile. Which meant I needed my Juvie keepsake. In the locker room, I rustled through my backpack for a small, smooth, rounded white band that clipped onto my wrist. It was a power-dampening bracelet. I broke the lock so it was safe to use to keep me from accidentally going the speed of a car. I lined up with the other students and waited for the whistle. 

As it blew I pushed off and took the lead in an instant. Only one other person kept up, a girl with blonde hair and a cheerleader outfit. The whole mile we passed one another over and over, and in the end, she was the one who finished the mile first. My pride hurt but I had to give her credit. "I'm not easy to catch," I told her as I caught up. "I'm Tommy." I offer her my hand and a smile. She took my hand. "The new kid right?" I nod. "Not bad. We could use you on Track."   
"I thought you were a cheerleader?" She laughed. "Oh, this? I'm only filling in today. I'm the Track team captain. Amanda." 

"If it means I get to see more of you, I'll join any club~" She laughed again but it seemed more of pity than humor. "Cute, but I'm taken." She pulled a sticky note from her backpack and quickly wrote something down. "Here's our practice times. Check it out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I paced in my room, typing a message I wouldn’t even bother sending. ‘Jezebel, I’m joining a track team! I can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually like it here. I’m stuck in remedial math. I’m sure you would be able to help me if you were…’ My message trailed short and I found myself wiping away stray tears. I erased the whole thing and just typed ‘I miss you.’ My thumb slipped on the send key and I actually felt relieved. There was no way she’d ever see it but I felt better. I placed the phone in my pocket and when it buzzed my heart skipped. Maybe Dex wasn’t…. Maybe she... I pulled the phone out only to find an automated message. ‘This number is not available. Please dial a valid 10 digit number to continue.’ “Fuck!” I threw the old phone against the wall and it broke at the joint. I leaned against the door and slid down, sobbing.


	5. Only Child

The Kaplan house was engulfed in flames. I could hear Ben and Simeon screaming for help. "Mommy won't wake up!" They cried. I looked down at my hands and saw my lighter. I dropped it and tried to run to the house but my feet seemed glued to the pavement. "What have I done?!" My voice cracked and echoed. I noticed the fractured appearance of everything around me like I was standing in a broken mirror. "No... No, I have to help them! Get me out of here!" I managed to break my feet free and run towards the house, but as I got there the whole thing has already burned down, nothing but the charred remains of the family could be found.

I could hear myself screaming as I woke and prayed nobody else noticed. Unfortunately for me, someone knocked on the door. "Tommy?" Ben opened the door. "Hey, little man." I got myself out of bed and stretched. A glance outside showed it was still late night. "What are you doing awake?" He came in and shut the door, hopping up on my bed so he was eye-level with me. "Me and Simeon heard you yell like Billy does sometimes...Did you have a scary dream? We get them too... Was that shadowy guy in it?" I couldn't help but smile at the sweet kid. "Nope, no shadow guy, but yeah, I did have a bad dream. A really bad one..." 

I sat on the bed and he dropped to a sitting position as well. "Billy says talking about bad dreams helps them." Ben insisted, waiting expectantly. "Of course he does..." I take a breath and explain the dream carefully, leaving out the detail of him and his brother telling me their mom wasn't moving. "Why are you scared of hurting us?" He asked. This kid might have been the most insightful 10-year-old ever. "You're not my therapist kid. Come on, let's get you back to bed." He jumped from my bed and led me back to his room. Simeon was awake and waiting patiently. "Is Tommy okay?" Simeon asked his brother. Ben nodded. "Yeah, he's okay." The two crawled into their beds and I turned the light out for them.

I closed their door and headed back to my own room, stopping when I heard muted crying from Billy's room. The door was cracked so I peaked in. Sitting on the edge of the bed was Billy, a craft knife in one hand and several cuts on the other arm. I rushed in and ripped the knife from his hand, grabbing his good arm. "Come on, we'll clean you up." I took him to the bathroom at the end of the hall and pulled his arm under cold running water. He winced. I shuffled around for rubbing alcohol and bandages. "Don't tell my parents.." He pleads. His eyes were so full of shame and pain. It broke my frozen little heart to witness.

"It's not my place to." I insisted. I'd helped a few kids clean up various cuts while Fostering. I knew very well that snitches got stitches. He winced again as I poured the alcohol over the cuts. From the looks of his arm, this wasn't a new habit. "This why you always wear long sleeves?" He nodded through his tears. I dried the wounds and placed three large bandages over the cuts. "This?" I hold up the knife before washing it. "End's now. Marcus and whoever else has hurt you enough. You've hurt you enough." I insisted. "This isn't worth it." He doesn't meet my eyes and doesn't agree to stop. "Come on. You need a smoke." 

"My parents took your smokes, A, and B, I don't smoke. It's bad for your health." I laughed. "A, I got more, and B, so is cutting." He shook his head. "I'm just going back to bed Tommy..." He left the bathroom and made his way down the hall. When I heard his door close I went downstairs to return the craft knife to the living room. Downstairs the Kaplan parents were watching a movie. Sounded like Jurassic Park. The stairs squeaked, and I hid the knife behind my back. 

"What are you doing up sweetie? You have school in the morning." Mrs. Kaplan turned to face me on the stairs. "Oh, nothing I just.. erm, needed water." I nodded as though agreeing with my lie to make it seem believable. She nodded with me and went back to her movie. I sigh relieved, and head to the kitchen, hiding the knife in a drawer while I grabbed a glass of water. I ran back up the stairs faster than they could process, but when I reached the top Simeon was standing a foot in front of me, jaw dropped in awe. 

“Shhh... Please, Simeon?” I kneel to eye-level for him. “What uh, how much did you see?"

“Are you a superhero?” He asked quietly. He saw me run, so hopefully, he didn’t notice the knife. I breathed out sharply and said, “Sure. That one. So, please? I need my identity to stay secret. Promise me bud?”

He stood straight, trying to look tough, and saluted. I saluted back and he lowered his arm. “I promise...What's your superhero name?” He asked. 

'Damn it, kid, I don't have the creativity for this nonsense...' I thought bitterly. “Speed.” It was lame but it seemed to satisfy him for the time. “I promise I will keep your secret, Speed.” He grinned and ran back to bed. I breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed on my bed. "Brothers are exhausting…." I groan. I almost missed being an only child. Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sat with my legs swinging in the office chair. "Mrs. Shepherd, your son is a perfectly healthy six-year-old boy. There is no need for you to keep bringing him in. Honestly, it's becoming a drain on our resources." The doctor told my mom carefully. She shook her head vigorously. "No!" She insisted. "There is something WRONG with him. I know it! I mean LOOK at him!" She gestured to me and my legs stop swinging as I shrink into myself. "Ma'am, your son is fine, except for the emotional trauma of you bringing him in every week for the past year insisting we study him." She huffed and grabbed my arm, dragging me from the doctors' office. "We'll take you somewhere else. We'll fix you, I promise."


	6. Welcome Home

It had been about two weeks and I had a feeling I wasn't going to run from this place. I'd grown... comfortable. I supposed the Kaplan's felt the same because they decided we needed to have a 'proper welcome home outing'. So The Kaplans, Teddy, Kate and myself all went to Rockefeller. I decided to dress up a bit to impress Kate. Dressing up for me meant leaving my ratty old clothes that I should throw out at home, and wearing the new Deadpool shirt, a new pair of black jeans, and my new sneakers. The only bit of old clothing I kept on was my blue hoodie. I never left Jezebel at home and I wasn't starting now, even for the beautiful Kate Bishop. 

The 8 of us barely fit in the van. Mr. and Mrs. Kaplan sat up front, the latter driving. The Kaplan kids squished into the middle three seats, and Kate sat between Teddy and I in the back. Talk about a third wheel. "Everyone buckled?" Mrs. Kaplan asked before starting the car. We all agreed but I was just sitting on my buckle, to avoid the awkward encounter of fumbling with the buckle near Kate's hips.

I wasn’t paying much attention before Mrs.Kaplan started saying she was struggling with the brakes, and we were headed for a red light and a full flow of traffic in the other direction. Everyone in the car starts to panic and I grab the wall hard, focusing all my energy. When I was in the facility I had learned that moving fast wasn’t my only ability. One happened to be phasing objects through each other. It had something to do with the speed of molecules. Same reason I could blow things up. Only issue was phasing just myself was REALLY hard, and right now I was trying to phase a van-full of people through oncoming traffic. The car doesn’t stop at the red light, and clips right through the cars in front of us. Mrs. Kaplan didn’t pull over until we reached rockefeller, the brakes, magically working again. Nobody commented on our impossible survival. In fact it seemed that everyone was just going to pretend it didn’t happen and that worked for me. 

When we finally flooded out of the car, Mr. Kaplan passed everyone a 20 for spending money. "Seriously are you guys made of cash?" I asked, slipping the bill into my wallet. He laughed. "Far from it. But we saved to do something fun for you kids once you got here." 

"Of course, and what's Rockefeller without pocket change?" Mrs. Kaplan added, leading her husband and the twins off to the kid stores, leaving us teens to our own devices. To my surprise, the three of them turned from Rockefeller and walked off into midtown Manhattan. "Uh, I didn't take you as one to ditch your family Billy." I follow the three down 5th avenue. "Nah, see my parents take us to Rockefeller to distract the twins, and then we thr-four, go off on our own. They think we think we're being clever. But they know exactly where we are so it's fine."

It took me a moment to mentally jump through the loops of that family dynamic. It was almost like their parents trusted them? Who trusts their kids? That just sounded like a bad idea. "So... ditching," I turned around and walked backwards. "but without consequence. I love this place." 

"I mean we're only going to central park, it's like 13 minutes away." Teddy said.

"Yeah and it’s 800 acres of land." Kate started to say something else as my head slammed into a pole. We stop and I rub my head, turning to face forward. "Ya guys just LET me do that." 

"You would have let us." Billy pointed out. I couldn't argue with his logic. "So how did you three meet?" I asked. I figured if I'm gonna be friends with these guys, some icebreakers couldn't hurt. 

"I met Billy in like, kindergarten." Kate said, wrapping an arm around him. "Teddy showed up in Middle School PE. The three of us became inseparable almost immediately, when Billy stood up against Teddy's bully."

"The giant had a bully?" I didn't buy it. Teddy defending Billy I could see, but that scrawny little guy defending Teddy of all people? 

"Yeah, we all had bullies. It's part of what brought us together. What about you? Didn't you have bullies?" I think back but the only faces that came to mind were my parents'. "Honey, I WAS the bully." It wasn't entirely a lie. Sure I said it to cover up my real answer but I was often less than kind to the kids at my middle school.

"What about friends then?" Teddy pressed on. "Even Bullies have friends."

"Usually other Bullies." Billy murmured.

"Dex was anything but I bully." I snapped defensively.

"Ah, so the troublemaker does have a friend." Kate chuckled. I shake my head. "No, the troublemaker /had/ a friend. She moved right before I.... before juvie." I coughed, trying to change the subject. "Oh look, it's the park! Where to?"   
We made our way down another block or so to the front of the Central Park Zoo. Instead of going in we sat out front. 

"So Tommy-" Teddy started. I tense. "Oh no.." He laughs a little but looks unsure of himself like he's about to ask something invasive. "What landed you in Foster? Like who were you before you showed up here?" There it was.  
"And don't say you emerged from a cloning vat cause I might believe you." Kate added. Billy tried his best to get them to lay off.

"Nothing really happened..." I wouldn't meet their eyes. "I got into some trouble, my dad passed and my mom took her first chance to give up her parental rights..."

“What did you actually do?” Teddy pressed on. I grew visibly agitated, tapping my fingers against my leg like a junkie without a fix. “Nothing crazy just… accidently… blew up my school…” Their faces became unreadable. “Fuck Tommy... “ Billy broke the silence. I coughed awkwardly. “But you know it’s fine, that’s like, the one thing and most of the people from the blast are fine.”

“Most?” Kate sounded concerned. I nod. “Yeah.. most.” In the back of my mind I heard the echo of the screaming from that day as the school crumbled and parents, students and teachers were crushed under the roof and the second story. My dad was among them. I try to blink away the sound and images. “Hot, Damn.” Teddy shook his head and threw an arm around me. I tensed. “Well you got us now Jailbird.” I moved his arm off me. "How many times Teddy- No touching." He nodded. "Right, that. Well, what about that friend of yours? Dex? How did you meet? Since you asked us and all.” I sigh, feeling defeated. “We met at church…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was five minutes from home and three minutes from getting my ass kicked for being late. That's when I realized I forgot to grab milk after school. The store was a ten minute walk. I turned around and bolted for the store. Everything around me seemed to stand almost still as I got to the store, the door flying off its hinges as I open it. I pay for the milk, and run back. People started to move again as I got to my house with a minute to spare.


	7. Gay Dino's

My mom straightened my clip-on tie as we walked into the church. Dad went straight into the sanctuary, while mom led me to the Sunday school classrooms. "You didn't comb your hair like I told you to, did you?" She flattened my hair. "I did! It just doesn't stay..." I complain fighting her hand off me. She scolded me and dropped me off by the 3rd-5th grade room. The teacher wasn't there yet, but mom left to join dad anyway. I'm left with three other kids, two of them with their parents. One girl, a brunette with a blue streak, sat parentless by the door. I sat across from her and offered a jolly rancher from my pocket. "My parents don't like to stay with me either..." I tell her. 

"Nobody likes Jolly ranchers." A boy taunted me. I balled my fists and began to say something. 

"I do." The girl insisted and took the candy, popping it in her mouth. I was never sure if she actually liked them or if she was just defending me. The boy left us alone and we sat quietly, eating jolly ranchers until a teacher came. By then several other kids and their parents had gathered by the door. "Oh, sorry I'm late." She smiled and unlocked the door, letting us all in as the parents finally headed to the sanctuary. The girl and I sat together at a table near the back. "Good morning guys! I hope everyone had a good week." She pulled out a box with little papers in it. "Today We'll be pairing up, and every pair will teach the class a biblical story." She said this like it was the most exciting thing ever. "So I want everyone to pair up, then come draw a story from the box." Everyone paired up quickly with their best friends, leaving me and Jolly rancher girl. I went to draw our story. The Binding of Isaac. I take it back to the girl. "I'm Tommy by the way." I tell her, sitting back down. "Dex."

"That's a weird name." I say. She smirked, a glint of pride in her eye. "Thanks, I picked it myself." I cough awkwardly. "You heard of this story before?" I asked, handing her the slip. "Isn't that where the guy sacrifices his son?"

"Almost sacrifices." I quickly corrected her. "God told him it was just a test, and had him sacrifice a lamb instead." 

"Oh...Well I still think it's messed up. Making someone sacrifice their own kid? And who would actually do that?" Dex seemed disturbed and I couldn't quite wrap my head around why. 

"If God told my dad to sacrifice me I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate, and I wouldn't want him to. God does everything for a reason Dex." She laughs. "You're funny." When my expression doesn't change her smile falters. "Oh you're serious..." I retell the story to her, and we wait quietly for the presentations to begin. We were first. 

"Once upon a time, God told Abraham that if he truly had faith, he'd sacrifice his only son, Isaac on top of this really big hill." I started. 

"And Abraham, like a terrible father, was fine with this." Dex interjects. I tensed, as did the teacher. I pushed her backwards a little and continued. "Abraham's faith in God was so strong that he packed up and took his son to the top of the hill God specified." Dex pushed me out of the way so she could step forward again. "And then he tied his son up and was going to STAB him-"

"When God told him to stop because it was just a test of faith. So God provided a lamb so that a sacrifice could be made. The end." I had hoped Dex would leave it at that but that was asking too much. "He was still going to stab his son though, isn't anyone upset by that?" 

"But his son didn't die, Deysara. He had faith in God, and God ensured his son's safety." The teacher insisted, looking Dex in the eyes.

"His son was only in danger because of his faith!" Dex insists. I was having trouble thinking of any way to argue with her, because frankly, I was starting to agree. I just couldn't bring myself to defend her. The teacher had us both sit down and started another presentation. "Maybe you're right..." I tell her quietly. She smiles. "I know I am." 

The next presentation was Noah's Ark. God told Noah to put two of every animal on a boat. One girl raised her hand to ask how big the boat was, but wasn't given a very clear answer. Her partner asked why there were no dinosaurs if Noah saved every animal. Dex chimes in. "Maybe he accidently got gay dinosaurs, who couldn't have babies." The class went silent. "Dex, animals can't be gay. Even people that are, are just sinners." I told her in a matter-of-fact tone. Dex looked at me disappointed. "Animals can to be gay! And people aren't sinners for loving who they love. If anyone is the sinner it's you for judging them!" She hisses. I balled my fists.

"I am not a sinner you....you..." I was trying to think of an insult that wouldn't get me in trouble. I looked around the room and saw another group's slip of paper. "You Jezebel!" She laughed. "If I'm Jezebel, you're Judas!" I move to punch her but the teacher separates us. "Alright you two, opposite sides of the room. Neither of you get to ask or answer any more questions today. Just listen and learn." She never did address the content of our argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She sit's quietly, waiting for her turn on whatever game her friends had chosen. In her hand, she twirled the simple silver cross her father had found after the incident. It had been almost a year and a half and she still couldn't believe he was gone. "Hey," Her friend shook her from her trance. "Rockefeller's on the news!" 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8J85Mkdm2Y


End file.
